My body and I have always understood each other fairly well. I try to eat a little better and exercise on occasion, and in exchange it won’t suddenly drop dead or expand like microwave popcorn. But it seems my body is no longer happy with our little arrangement, so it’s time to re-negotiate the terms.

I don’t want to be the Aussie associated with the phrase “oh here comes trouble” (though if used endearingly I will not object!), I came here to be la Parisienne. To drink the wine, kiss les mecs and flâner along the Seine on a cool evening. But then again, maybe I should embrace it.